In class in Phoenix, AZ
“Hey, do you know if it’s cool to park in the $12 parking lot?” Guy asked.
“You parked in a $12 parking lot?!” Girl asked.
“Ha, yeah,” Guy laughed. “Honestly, dude, I was afraid of my car being jacked.”
“Are you serious?!” Girl asked.
“Dude, you, like, don’t even know,” Guy said. “People will just walk by and have to steal something from it.”
I really appreciate the comment from a reader who asked me to clarify why I think the descriptions from the previously-posted Facebook status update (posted originally on September 22, 2009) was so horrible. Here goes:
As you can see, the Facebooker updated their status with one of those “quizzes” to rate yourself on “What Movie Badass Are You?” His initial response was “Guns, Girls and Cars… isn’t that the definition of a badass?” I first want to mention that most guys want to appear “hard” or, in this case, a “badass”. It’s that thing inside us, a territorial thing, an “I can kick your butt” thing. There’s a connotation that goes along with that feeling… that in order to really be hard, you must get as many women as possible, you’ve absolutely got to have a sweet ride and the more guns and ammo you have, the harder you must be. (I could continue on with other categories – how much money you have, what kind of house you live in, what you do for a living, how many employees you have, how many vacations you take, how much power you hold, how many and what kind of scars you have, etc.) This is an example of “cultural manliness”.
The idea of cultural manliness is that, as you accumulate more wealth, as you sleep with more women, as you buy more stuff and as your power “ranking” goes up, the more manly you are. Cultural manliness never takes into account your virtue, your faith, your relationship with God and/or others, how you treat your wife/children/family/friends/strangers/etc. Cultural manliness is a facade, a lie, a demeaning and empty way of living. The glamour of being a “culturally manly” man will wear off in time. How many people will a culturally manly man hurt along the way?
Back to the post… the description (in this case, of James Bond) mentions traits that might be good, if explained more and in the correct context. However, in the context they are in, these traits (strong, fast, clever, refined, etc.) lead only to one trait, “…and still get laid in the process.” These traits aren’t listed in order to positively affect the world or in order for you to become the best man you can become, they’re listed in order to lead towards women sleeping with you. There is a great disparity between these two distinctions.
Let me make myself clear here… there’s nothing wrong with being attractive, refined and clever. There’s nothing wrong with women being drawn to you. The problem here is that the motivation to be those things and to possess those traits is skewed and misguided. Deep down, inside every man, there’s an urge to be “manly” – to be courageous and daring, attractive and intelligent. Listen to what God is saying through your urge to be manly, so that you know what He wants from you. Once you feel the urge and know exactly what God wants you to do with it, you’ll be living a purposeful life for God!
I hope this clarification helps.
Man up!